A Letter to Poline from Aron
March 7, 1914
Kishinev to Paris
Rue Vieille du Temple 41
Friday 7/20 March
My dear child, sun of my life. Because you are shining and you make me feel warm. So my young old lady, before today I love young lady, a girl, and from now on, I am going to love a young old lady. Let’s go ahead. Maybe you are doing something at this time… eh, nununu. Polya, Uncle Ooch….not clear….Now Polinka, my dear old lady, now your image is standing in front of my eyes and I am looking at it and thinking. Today is the 7th of March, exactly, two months since we are apart, two months already, two months since we are apart temporarily, but I am longing for you, and I am wondering if there is a border of my suffering. Is the Russian language rich enough to express everything what I am feeling? No. There are no such expressions. It has been a quarter of a century since I lived and since I have been walking this long way in the desert of life. I am tired of walking last time. All parts of my body are aching from such a long way. I am terribly tired. I want to take a rest. I want to take a breath. I want to leave that luggage behind. Now it looks like the oasis is appearing right now, that good place where I can take a rest, where I can take a breath from this difficult and long walking and until I reach that oasis of my life, I still will have to walk for 53 long and tiring, for me, days. Now I live, and the only thing which supports me is my dream that everything will pass and I will finally reach that beautiful, sweet place, and I will be by my beloved friend. I will be feeling her heart beating from the happiness which arises. If only such kind of wonder existed, my cute, dear old lady, that I could see you or feel you, I would have given five years of my life for that wonder. Until then, I am waiting wearily until that. I received your letter dated 13/3 and another one 14/3 with an attachment. Ah, my dear friend, how can I express that kind of happiness I had when I saw your image? It seems to me that I even spoiled it because I couldn’t go away from it and was staring at it for a long time. Such strong power this great word love. I never knew that such strong love exists in people. This power is really strong. It can make a person crazy, and it can make with a person anything it wants. It makes me suffer like a criminal only for a reason that I want to see you. My dear soul, you suggest that I travel with a passport under somebody else’s name. Isn’t it dangerous? And it is very inconvenient for me because that person from whom I could borrow a passport doesn’t live in Kishinev but in a village, so I don’t know what to do. It is really difficult for me to decide. Please tell me what to do. Don’t think about my coming to you, because it will happen soon. We only have 53 days to wait. There is an immigration office in Paris, and you can ask them how the trip from Paris to Homburg costs. If it’s not difficult for you, would you please find out? I am very happy that you are eating well at this time and I am kissing you for that. I am telling you, you are good, Polya. I am also very happy that interesting people are visiting you and that you are spending time happily. You have to wait for me not for two months, only 50 days. And each of my letters is going to bring less days, which is what I am happy about. Dear Polinka, do not look for any special words to express your feelings towards me. I know them, and I can feel them. Your heart with no doubt will come back to you, and you will be alive again. What Tsillie told you in a few words, it is what people say that happened but she wants
The wolves are full and the sheep are okay – but it doesn’t exist in life – neither I am going to talk about her only when I am going to be with you. I received a letter from my elder sister a long time ago. I wrote about it to you already. She wrote to me that she was going to send a “letter of credit” but now when my younger sister came, she told me that I would make my mind for sure that I am going to leave and if it is so, they are going to send me a card. I already received the letter and responded and I think that it will be here with no doubt by Easter. So I am responding to the first letter. Now let me respond to the second one. It is true, my dear Polinka, that I am very happy to receive letters from you every day. I need them as much as the human body needs food. Please don’t worry if I do not respond the same day. I have many reasons for that, and it is killing me. I am coming home very tired and sometimes I even don’t eat and go straight to bed. I will be in need of that physical rest, and I will find that rest only on your chest. My dear God, please help me to live until that day. Now, my dear old lady, what should I answer to your last letter. You start your letter with so deep words, and the whole letter is filled with your feelings towards me, and it is really painful. It affects my soul and my heart. Hang in there, my dear friend. We don’t have to wait long. Soon, very soon, we will see each other. I am thinking about nothing else but you, about how I will be with you and that day when I will be hugging you is going to be a great happiness. My dear God, please help me in this and please make all these days into one and give me happiness so I can join my love. I’m very happy when you are in a good mood, when you are funny, and we are going to be soon together. Your heart is coming back to you. My health is fine. I am only feeling very tired and it is strange because the more I work, the more I am tired, the less I can sleep. I envy those who sleep around me when I’m not sleeping and when it is really quiet in here, I can hear their snoring and I am lying in bed and thinking and just thinking and my thoughts are flying like clouds. Now I am finishing this letter and it is 2:15 in the morning. And, of course, I am not going to sleep. Tomorrow is Saturday. We work this Saturday because we have a lot to do before Easter. I also sent you a postcard yesterday, and I am sending newspapers to you every day. Please write to me if you received all of them, and I am also asking you to date all of your letters. Please be healthy and well. I wish you a lot of happiness. You loving friend, Arnold. I will see you soon.
Young and little [someone?] is going to take the old lady for a walk. Is it okay?