Letter to Aron from Poline
Paris to Kishinev
92 Old Armenian Street, to Toporovsky for Aron
May 26, 1914 Tuesday 10:00 in the evening
[This is the French date. The Russian date would have been May 13, 1914.]
My dear child, Arnoldushka. I just received your letter about being sick and I feel a sharp pain after I have read it. My dear friend, don’t you have anything what could affect your condition in a good way? What’s wrong? Why are you listening to those scoundrels like Shika or Goldman? Nina has thrown him away from the window. Literally. As a kitten. Why do you believe those words of those people? My dear, I ask you, for your sake and for my health, please don’t get upset. Spit on them. Remember the same thing happened to me before I left. Remember how hard I cried on one of the Saturdays when I was with you, and now I’m laughing at it. These are the dregs of our society And that’s how they nourish themselves. They have to do something when they have time. Today they’re talking about us, tomorrow about somebody else. Well I don’t have a name for what they are doing, but that’s enough. I am very tired because of all the delays. You can’t imagine how severely it affects me. I suffer all day long, and I am literally sick. Your letters are very pessimistic, desperate, and hopeless. What does it look like? My friend, leave alone the analyzing of this life. Why? What for? Go ahead. Don’t look behind. Don’t look too far. Since if you look too far, you are not going to see what is in front of your nose. So it could be worse. I am really close. Look at me and think about coming to me, to your friend, to a person with whom you are going to be happy. I sincerely feel that I am looking for your heart, not for any advantage. You are very upset with Petinka. In your letter 10/23, you are very angry at him. Maybe you put your eyes down and I don’t like that feeling, as you already know. I can feel your angry handwriting. I will kiss, kiss my dear, my love Aron. Aron, my dear, my heart. Don’t get angry at me. I am asking you to be calm. Everything is going to be well. My father today while having dinner made a plan for you what to see in Paris first. I thought that the letter I wrote yesterday in a hurry would be the last one, and I was in doubt if you received that. Now I’m sure that it will not get lost, like all your letters you mentioned I received all of them. I just can’t understand your date on the last letter 10/23 of April. How could it be? April and not May because the stamp says it was mailed out on the 10th of May. How come I could receive it on the third day? Today is the 26th of May. Please send a telegram from Cologne. They speak German there, and there is a stop for three or four hours at the train station. Ask for the telegram bureau, and you can send this telegram written by me. If you happen to be in the Paris train station and I’m not there, don’t worry. I’m warning you that anything can happen, any delays. I don’t see any problems, but just in case. I’m telling you that I can be late. I kiss you.
On the envelope: If Aron didn’t get it, please send it back to me.
I received that letter one hour before my operation, and I cried a lot on Monday at 12:00.