Letter to Poline from Aron
May 1, 1914
Kishinev to Paris
Rue Vieille du Temple 41
Today the international working class is celebrating the freedom from the capitalistic slavery [drudgery] and protest against arbitrariness [unfairness]. My dear soul, I apologize deeply that I did not write to you that long. I did not have any opportunity to write to you for many different reasons. I am in a hurry to notify you, my dear friend, that I am sitting at home now, done with the shop. It is a big step I already made. If you don’t believe me, I assure you with my honest word God give us the opportunity to see each other soon the way I’m resting today at home. Long live the freedom. I am done with one of the officers who issued a passport in my name. The person is very honest and sincere. He saw me that I am not afraid of anything, that my business is light and clear, so he can issue a passport to me with no danger. He charged me 20 rubles for that job. He is going to go there to fulfill everything, and then he is going to pick up the passport from the governor’s office. I, myself, don’t have to go there and don’t have to do anything. I think, my dear soul, this news will make you happy. But it’s better to wait for a few more days. I will be receiving already paper on the 8th of May, so help me God. It’s going to be a big happiness for me when I will leave freely. That was the reason why I was busy for a few evenings and couldn’t write to you. I hope, Polinka, that you are forgiving me for that. Your beloved boy is free now and is ready to go for a long happy way. I am going to rest for a few days because I am really tired physically and emotionally. Leaving the shop affected me and I couldn’t stand that scoundrel’s vulgarity towards us. I thought I could get crazy. I’m going to be soon with you and I’ll tell you everything later on. They are not worth writing about them. To the devil with them. Dear Polinka, you can envy me because it is very difficult for me to endure this difficult life, those thoughts. Sometimes life is not worth living. Why are you living just to suffer? To leave everybody and everything and you don’t know what future awaits you It’s even hard for me to breathe, and I feel like a one-thousand–pound stone is pressing my soul. I am removing everything first of all [not clear]…I would like to see you, and it’s really hard to describe my suffering. But that hour of freedom has come and that happy hour when we meet in Paris is coming soon. My darling girl, that’s true, you are my girl because my heart belongs to you. I received two letters from you recently, and now I am going to respond. My dear friend, I want you to forget about all the suffering. That day is not far, and we will breathe freely soon. Forget about that letter. Forget about everything bad and not pleasant. Try, Polinka, to live better. Don’t listen to anything bad. Soon we are going to discuss everything together, so help us God. I wish Vimichka health and perhaps he’s not going to live in Bessarabia again and eat fish soup? It’s very sorry that your Roza is leaving soon, so soon that I won’t be able to see her. But how is she going to go by herself? And why is she going to America while she’s able to earn money here? I think it’s nonsense, but I don’t know the whole truth Petinka, you are saying that you fall asleep thinking about me. Let me tell you how I fell asleep. I fell asleep while reading a book or a newspaper. I couldn’t sleep at all until I got your letter, and now I cannot sleep without it. It is on my chest, and I feel like I am sleeping in your presence. You have to understand how nice and sweet your letters and postcards are to me. I am going to buy a dictionary and I’ll take it with me. Please write to me what should I tell Tsillie. I was scared of both your fists and that’s why I stayed at home. Don’t think, my dear, that I ignored your request. I only deceived you for five days because I didn’t want you to know about it. Perhaps Tsillie told you about that. I value and respect your request and will fulfill it as you wish, but I am going to be late for a few days. I think you have forgotten what it means to leave abroad, especially for me. So I am sitting here aspiring towards you and I am sending y greetings to all of yours from my heart. [Signature] Aron
It’s not good that you lost so much weight. My God, I want you to be plump [well-fed], the way I sent you to Paris. I am happy that you liked that outfit. You advised me to have my luggage with me. How come? I have two big pillows. Can I take those pillows with me? My luggage is going to be really big, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to buy more cases because I have to bear different kind of expenses. My money is melting like ice. I would like to save some money, but I don’t know how. I am very happy that you are healthy and well, but I wish that you would gain more weight and it’s going to be better. I feel your fists. I am kissing them, and I am afraid of them. Please try, my dear Polya, not to argue with Nina. Let it be the way it is. Your beloved Arnoldushka is going to make you happy soon. You don’t have to wait for a long time. If I forget something, I think I wrote about everything. Now it is 11:00 in the morning and those are the three first hours, which I spent at home. I want to get some rest, but I can’t because we have to move to a new apartment today. The new address is Old Armenian Street 92. Please write to this address to pick up your letters. You did not understand me in regards to the book but I don’t have space to describe it here. Next time. Please answer if you received the postcard dated 10/23 of April, “what love can do.” And state all dates of my letters and cards. That’s enough for today. I hug you very hard and kiss you. Your beloved boy, Arnold. See you soon.