Letter to Poline from Aron
February 12, 1914 [Russian calendar] and February 25, 1914 [French calendar]
Kishinev to Paris
Rue Vieille du Temple 41
Good evening. My pretty friend, my good aunt Polya. I just came back home and was happy to receive a letter and a card from you. And I feel so much better when I read your letter and the card. All I think is if only I could receive letters or cards from you every day, I would be a very, very happy person. For dinner I had sour cream, your dish, and I think it would be great if you could eat this dinner with me. While if you are not eating, I am not going to eat as well. Let me start with the matter which is most interesting to us. Why are you saying that we still have 3 months? It is the 12th of February today, and the latest I am going to stay here is until the 1st of May, and that is 2 ½ months. The next one. You don’t know what is going to happen to your dental equipment. It is up to you at this time if you are going to work for that dentist for four months. What am I going to do? The second thing. I am waiting for a letter from my sister. She told me in one of her letters that she is going to send a card and a few rubles. We’ll see how much money she is going to send and if I will have to withdraw 40 rubles for you, it will mean that I will have less money, but we are going to talk about it by the time when you decide with the doctor, and I will know what to do and I will do what you tell me. I would go even sooner to you if Easter didn’t happen, because God only knows that I cannot live without you. You cannot take a picture because of the weather, you’re saying, but the weather is going to be clear soon. That’s why you can take a picture, but you even don’t promise it to me. I am asking you one more time, my dear mommy, to take a picture as soon as possible and send it to me. When a child is asking his mother for something, you have to fulfill it. I gave everything to Gutman. He hasn’t decided yet if he’s going to leave or not, but he wants to go with you, but he cannot wait for me. My dear Polya, you are saying slum life in Paris, but when you take a closer look, you’re going to see [the same thing] everywhere in every big central cities. Well, you are comparing it to Odessa, but don’t compare this little town with the big one. You always have lived here and you didn’t see anything bigger. I wish that we meet as soon as possible with God’s help, and I hope that you are going to pick me up soon at the train station in Paris. How wonderful does it sound? You are going to pick me up in Paris at the train station. And it is going to happen soon if both of us will be healthy and alive. Just one condition I do not understand, Polinka. Why are you sitting always alone by yourself? Where are the rest of the children? Where is your father? Nina? Roza? Why aren’t you going anywhere and only sitting at home? It is killing me. Where are your friends and people you know? Don’t think any bad thoughts. Look at Paris through your fingers. It is a temporary thing. Anyways, I am going to take you from there soon. There are good memories about our meeting in Kishinev, but I hope that everything will be even better. It is coming to my ears from our mutual friends that nobody could even imagine that nothing will end after this kind of good friendship. This scoundrel Shika possibly has a goal to poison my life. I am very happy for you. I kiss you, Polya. He is mocking our sacred love. He is using bad words towards us with such irony that I am about to cry. And I have to listen to everything he says silently. When is it going to end? I cannot stand it anymore. Since that moment when we left for the train station, I did not visit him at all. And he doesn’t stop inviting me over and says that when Polya was here, he was coming all the time. It is very hard to endure such kind of difficult time, and it is hard because we are so far away from each other, and it’s even harder because we are longing for each other. But one thought is supporting us that we are going to be together soon. My dear girl, my sweet, my good, wild boar, you are saying that when you are writing a letter it is 10:00 already, and I am sleeping, but I cannot sleep, and when I sleep, I am dreaming about you and I am dreaming about you even when I don’t sleep. I am asking you, please write soon, even today, and to write to Tsillie. Describe everything in details about Goldman, everything what you know, everything you learned about his spreading the rumors what she learned about him. But do not give her my name. My aunt is very weak, pale. She was twice already in Odessa during this month, and she has to go to Odessa again. The doctors told her to take X-rays, but because she is standing on her legs sometimes, she has bleedings with a severe weakness. And the doctors think that she doesn’t need any surgery. Polya, why are you not writing about yourself? What are you doing? Do you still go to the university? Please share all of your thoughts with me. Please share your soul, your heart with me. I want to know everything what’s going on. It is going to be sad if you want to keep some secrets from me. In this letter, you are saying that you cannot stop reading the letter, and I didn’t say anything what your heart is saying. Please share with me, open your soul, because I am your soul, and I am your life. Both of us is a whole, one cannot exist without the other one. So I am ending this letter. I could write more, but I feel pain in my eyes, so I can’t. Please stay healthy. I wish you the best and much of happiness. Your loving friend, Arnoldushka Gorky
One more request, please answer each of my letters.