Letter from Aron to Poline February 11, 1914

Letter to Poline from Aron Feburary 12, 1914 envelope A
Letter from Aron to Poline February 12, 1914
March 8, 2018
Poem to Poline from Aron February 10, 1914 p01
Poem from Aron to Poline February 10, 1914
February 10, 1914

Letter from Aron to Poline February 11, 1914

Letter to Poline from Aron February 11, 1914 p01

Letter to Poline from Aron 
No envelope extant
February 11, 1914
Kishinev to Paris
Rue Vieille du Temple 41

My dear girl, my darling friend Polinka. It is Tuesday today. It has been three weeks since you left, but I have been suffering during these three weeks and it seems to me that those are not three weeks but 30 years. I am in a hurry to greet you as a first bird in spring. My dear friend, only today I received two postcards and one letter from you. Thank you very much for those. First thing, my friend, I have a request to make. Because I am not receiving your letters or I am not receiving them on time, I decided to change my address. From now on I am asking you to use this address, please.  Yekaterininskaya Street 62 to Shulim Toporovsky for Aron Buchspan. So I will be expecting your next letter at that address already by the 19th of February according to your calendar. Also I am asking you to tell me in your response letter how many letters you sent to me to the post office so I can go there and pick them up. So in this case, the misunderstanding comes to an end. There is no more concern. In regards to the previous letters you can be calm. There are no worries. Nobody seized them or read them. I received two letters at the store. Today two post cards and one letter. Now I need to warn you, dear Polinka, in advance that I am not going to write any more letters to you unless I receive something from you because this one is the sixth letter with no response. Again, I apologize, Polya, in advance for bringing up an issue which bothers both of us. You are talking about being apart and about longing, my friend. I am going to tell you that what I feel and I think I am obligated to let you know that you are my friend, my soul, my life, and my whole self belongs to you only. So please know what I feel.  We argued in vain that being apart can lead to a separation. I told you that immediately after you are going to leave it was going to be worse for both of us. You have a new life, new changes. You are among new people. You can have more fun, but not me.  God only knows what I am feeling, what kind of suffering and I don’t have any doubts that you, my dear girl, are sympathetic. I am in the power of the strength which is guiding me, and that power is very strong, so there is no reason to fight it. And I feel it while making every step, every single minute.  You left such a memory that I can’t conceal. Every so often I forget where I am, and it seems to me that you are standing right here in front of me, that I am approaching to you and hugging you. Everything what was in the past is talking to me and is still alive in my memory. It appears to me like we spent 20 years together and were attached to each other during such a short time. Your images are everywhere around me during each step I make. If I see a lady in a blue coat wearing a hat I forget that you are far away from me and I want to run to you. It’s like a nightmare. It’s a very sad day, and I always forget about my own existence, and after 8:00 in the evening, I feel what my soul says. My God, my God, it is so hard. I have a question what to do, where to go, who to meet, who to talk to, if you are not here. Nothing, literally nothing exists to me. I can only see in front of my eyes that bodies which have nothing in common with me. When I go home, I feel like my legs are not listening to me because of those difficult thoughts and longing, especially when I have to go upstairs. At that moment, I remember that you, Polya, were with me, and we were together. How hard it is, how difficult it is. When I enter my room, I lock it as a prisoner and it’s so sad when I can’t hear any voice, any sound. There are walls and ceiling only. And everything what I have in my room is looking sadly at me. I am looking at the chair where you sat, and it’s empty. And it’s so painful that I start crying during those moments. I can’t eat dinner. I try to listen to each knock, and when somebody’s knocking, it sounds to me like you are coming, but it is not you. It’s so cold, I cannot write. It is very difficult when the person is living and nothing changes around him, and if it doesn’t kill his soul, the longer he lives, the more suffering the surrounding brings to him. I only have one question. When am I going to see you again? This only thing supports me when I am thinking that soon, maybe very soon, we are going to be together. Time is flying fast and the waves of happiness are going to come to us soon. Isn’t it true, Polya? I remember when we were sitting once on this bed and came to a conclusion that we are not going to be apart from each other, that we are going to be friends forever, and that we are going to have a long path in front of us the way to cross the ocean. You told me then that you were afraid of even thinking to kiss another man and then you saw that I would be staying with you forever. And when I look at that place now I feel chilly because all the memories are coming back to me. Okay. Let’s drop it. I can’t write about it any more. In your postcards you said that your father doesn’t have a job now, but I think he will find a job because he’s not supposed to send you to a factory. Please respond to all of my letters, to all of my questions, how is everything, how’s your health, what are you doing, do you need anything? Did you buy a hat for yourself? Please I’m asking you to stay in a good mood and be happy. Go for a walk. Go to the theater. Get well. You are a good girl, Polya. I love you. Please tell me if you received all of my letters, because this is the sixth one. What is Tsillie writing to you? I am asking to respond because I am not going to write to you until I receive a letter from you. If you want to respond to all of my letters, put all of them in front of you when you are writing a response and please send them to the new address. Please write everything. See how much I write to you. And it seems to me it’s too little. And please answer all of my questions I had in my recent letters. It’s 1:00 midnight, so I have to go to bed. However, I can’t sleep. Again, be healthy, be happy, my friend. Your loving, Gellya
Until I see you soon. Address for Izner is Yakovskaya Street 124.

 

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