Letter to Poline from Aron
April 16, 1914
Blue envelope
Kishinev to Paris
Rue Vieille du Temple 41
Thursday 24/7
My dear soul, I greet you, my dear friend. This time I am going to be a little liar because in the postcard of yesterday I told you that I was going to send a letter, but when I came home and even couldn’t undress myself, my friends arrived, and then somebody else came in also we stayed until 1:00. My dear, the days of our separation are coming [meaning the days of our separation are coming to an end]. Is it possible that I will be happy soon sitting beside you? And I can touch you with my lips and I can feel your kiss? My heart is burning like a fire for m friend to whom my life belongs. Soon, very soon, this hour is going to come. When you left me in Bendery, I felt like it wouldn’t be possible to bear that difficult time. But the time is passing, and it’s almost the end. Tomorrow is the last day of the shop. What does it mean to leave the shop? What’s going on there? You can’t imagine. Uncle is giving ten more rubles for me not to leave. And they all are crying about me. It was even a bigger matter for them than when Israel left. They only suspect that I am going to leave and I’m telling them that it is temporary only, and I will come back. Everybody who knows me has to stop me and ask me about my life. I feel like those sharp moments of my life as if everything is falling apart. I don’t know how to explain, but I personally feel like leaving the store seems like nothing, but it affects my mood. My dear, as I wrote to you before about that incident with that scoundrel. Because of me, they hit him in the shop so hard that he had to stay in bed a few hours. And now are the last days of my stay here in Kishinev. As you know already, I won’t know until the first of May which way I am going to take. There is one little condition here [using some else’s passport] The thing is, if that person doesn’t find any job, then he will need his passport to go to Odessa, and it is going to be a delay because of that. But I want to use his passport. But there is something else going on here related to the celebration which is going to happen on the 16th of May. They look for someone, there are a lot of arrests and a lot of unrest here. Everybody is upset because of it. Possible because of Yukil’s coming to Kishinev, they cleaned the whole city. But I want to leave Kishinev at this time, but this situation makes me wait. Answering your question, dear Polinka, when you asked me about the schedule, I only can tell you that it would be great if I had a passport. Otherwise, only God knows which way I am going to take. The road itself is clear to me already. The only thing I don’t know from what place should I send a telegram to you? From what station? Please send a clear and full address of your father. Should I send money? In case I have a passport, should I take the money with me? What would be your advice? What dictionary do you want me to buy? Please describe it in detail. And ow my dear soul, please sincerely tell me why and about what should I talk to Tsillie? What kind of conversation can I have with her? Does she know about my coming to you? Does she know that we have been writing to each other? If you wrote anything to her about us, I need to know it. Otherwise I talk to her very little, almost never. Please tell me the truth, which I will believe. Now, with respect to your second letter, my dear, I have to tell you that I cannot suffer any more than I am. Your pain, your longing, your feelings towards me. My God, are there any doubts about us in our hearts? Is it true that you have to tell me something about them? Enough. I feel them already that much that I feel pain around my heart. We don’t have any doubts about anything. There is a simple misunderstand in your letter and in your postcard. I didn’t think anything about it. I am touched deeply with all of your letters, especially with this one. No more tears, no more suffering. I have a great wish to settle down in Russia, but it is a very narrow meaning because I consider Russia as Kishinev and Odessa only. I know America very well from not a very good side, but there is nothing we can do about it. We don’t have to be afraid. We have to be strong facing our difficulties with our mutual love and God will help us. We don’t know anything what lies ahead of us, but God give me that minute soon. I am asking about one thing only and please take it into consideration. I am asking and begging you as much as I can beg you not to suffer, not to make more difficulties because the bowl is full already. I want you to stay healthy and if I meet you with any changes on your face from when I sent you home, then remember that shivering/fainting that happened before already. I sincerely want you to be well. I am very happy that you are among those people and please don’t leave them. I cannot live without you the same way as you cannot live without me. Is it true that our love is out of balance? Our hearts belong to each other, and I try to feel your hug as soon as I can, and it is a kind of big happiness. Yesterday I received your card in which you are calling me your friend. And that call is ringing in my ears even if it is coming from far away. I can feel it. And your heart, my darling, soon, very soon will come back to you. I definitely like your illustration of crooked legs, and I am laughing about it. Don’t dare to talk like that. You’re saying that you are a loser, but no, you are a winner, and you are a big winner. I can feel you I hug you. And I kiss you. I press you against my chest.
